Kim Kardashian's received a rash of bad press since announcing her plans to end her 72-day marriage to Kris Humphries. And, over the last month she's since been trying to get back into the public's good graces by doing things like serve turkey and the trimmings to the homeless on Thanksgiving. She also sent out a lengthy, possibly authentic blog post about her relationship missteps. Well, we here at Zimbio have decided she should be trying a little harder.
We've come up with five fool-proof ways she can instantly rehab her image, sweeping away any lingering disdain from the populace, also known as the massive Keeping Up with the Kardshians audience. Check it out:
1. Date Ryan Gosling
Sorry, Eva. (Bauer Griffin)We all know Kim Kardashian can't stay out of the dating game long, so when she does jump back in -- and it'll probably be soon -- we advise she go for someone who can do no wrong. Like Ryan Gosling. The guy is basically the perfect man and is liked enough by guys and gals to bring Kim's popularity up with him.
Now you might be thinking: "He's already dating that lovely girl Eva Mendes." Well, we have a feeling he could be easily won over by explaining that the future of reality TV, also the fate of the world, rests on his shoulders. He'll surely rise to the occasion. Once order is restored, he can go back to Ms. Mendes. She'll understand.
2. Get Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart to Admit They're Dating
If Kim K breaks Robsten, all is forgiven. (via Bauer Griffin) This could be the trickiest suggestion by far. The Twilight stars wouldn't even tell Oprah they're dating. But, Kim has a gift. She's gotten millions of people to buy her book Kardashian Konfidential, after all. Upon getting a confession out of Robsten, the Twihards would unite in support of Ms. Kardashian, pushing out any leftover bitter fans. She'd even pick up tons more Twitter followers to add to her collection of 11 million. With these passionate fanbases united, there would be no stopping her -- unless of course Gaga's 16 million Twitter Monsters joined the 14 million Bieber Beliebers...
3. Save the Whales
Kim K can save the whales. (via Examiner.com) If anyone can single-handedly save the whales, it's this girl. And even if she can't, you can't be mad at someone who's single-handedly trying to save the whales.
4. Sit in a Dunk Tank
Dunk Kim AND save the whales all at the same time (via happeningsinflatables.com, zimbio.com) There are a lot of people who are angry at Kim Kardashian. Fans, the Humphries, Australia ...for starters. Wouldn't it be great if those upset folks could take their aggression out on the TV star in a safe, sane manner? The anger would fall away every time the star and her gorgeous brown locks got dunked into a tub of murky water. She could even turn the event into a charitable endeavor, then spend the money on her failed campaign to save the whales. Everyone wins.
5. Sign the 'No More Kardashian' Petition
Sign here, Kim. (tennessean.com, Zimbio.com)Over 70 thousand of people have already signed the online petition to boot the Kardashians from reality TV, supporting the statement "these shows are mostly staged and place an emphasis on vanity, greed, promiscuity, vulgarity and over-the-top conspicuous consumption.”
Now, if Kim would just sign the petition too, thereby admitting things have gotten way out of control, we'd guess people would ease up. One of the most important steps on the road to forgiveness is admitting you messed up, right? This public admission of guilt wouldn't even mean she has to actually stop filming her life for reality TV. It would be more like those times when your mom puts you on a time-out in the corner and you have to tell her why you're being punished. Then, before you know it, you get your Gameboy back and full TV privileges.
Now if ALL OF THIS doesn't work, we suggest she have a baby. Fast. It's really hard to be mad at a pregnant lady.